when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
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