Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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