my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
