I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
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