Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
