We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
