well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
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