I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
