Pants 0. Shit 1.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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