So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
