well most of my day revolves around power hour
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Randomize
