no. you can't hotbox the world.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
