I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
