Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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