she smelled like a LAN party
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
