I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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