i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
