respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
