after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
