4 words: hood of his car
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
