Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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