At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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