Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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