I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
