I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
