I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
