the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
