yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
