her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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