so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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