Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
