Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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