Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
i think i just naturally attract stoners
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
