i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
