real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
it's great music for shaving your balls
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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