So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
