We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
