During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
