THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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