With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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