so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Randomize
