So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
