you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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