Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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