Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
