Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
