So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize