YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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