With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
