highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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