I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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