just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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