He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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