Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
