So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
