Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
