This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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