He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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