You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
