just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
