I'm so fucking centered right now
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Then you guys just all showered together...?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
