I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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