I think I just saw someone hide a body.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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