I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
