Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I cockslap morals
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
