After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
