i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
She bit a glass in half.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
