Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
